Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
