Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
