i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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