TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
