as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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