I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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