glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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