So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize