just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
