i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
