Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
