He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
