Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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