I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
