I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
