So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
