It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
