Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
