he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
