Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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