Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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