Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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