I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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