My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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