there was a trapeze. enough said
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
