evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it glows. i had to have it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
