And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am naked and annoyed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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