Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
