I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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