dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
