I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
