she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
