I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
