I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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