im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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