I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
