Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
