i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
