and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
