You're so nebulous sometimes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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