I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
