After last night, I could never be a politician.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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