if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
