Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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