I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
