i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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