did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
