So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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