I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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