I'd wear matching sweaters with you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my shit smells like andre
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
